The Way I Loved You
by DollarJumper
Summary: just a song fic i came up with this for some reason. suicide


I walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand with what my friends called the Perfect Man.

He is sensible and so incredibleAnd all my single friends are jealous

"Tonight was wonderful." I said, as I walked to my car.

"It couldn't have been better." He said.

Emmett Cullen was everything that someone like me could want. He was perfect but slowly I was losing it.

He says everything I need to hear and it's likeI couldn't ask for anything better

He opened my door and I slipped into my car. I kissed him softly before telling him goodnight. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and sped home. I wove in and out of traffic. I knew that it was stupid but I needed to be home. My phone rang just as I pulling into the drive way.

He opens up my door and I get into his carAnd he says, you look beautiful tonightAnd I feel perfectly fine

I let my phone go to voicemail. I really didn't want to talk to him. I pulled into the garage and shut my car off. I got out and walked inside. My cell phone rang again and I shut it off. I turned the ringer off on my house phone and headed upstairs. After slowly undoing the thousands of bobby-pins, I changed into some sweats.

But I've been screamin' and fightin'And kissin' in the rainAnd it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your nameYou're so in love that you act insaneAnd that's the way I loved you

"Damn it." I mumbled.

My alarm clock flashed two in the morning. I had tossed and turned, never finding any comfort. Finally I passed out. My dreams were filled with two men in my life, I loved them both but I had to pick. That morning I called in sick for work. I sat on the couch and watched some home movies, while munching on my favorite ice cream.

Breakin' down and comin' undoneIt's a roller-coaster kinda rushAnd I never knew I could feel that muchAnd that's the way I loved you

Finally as 5:30 that afternoon, my best friends came over. We had know each other since middle school.

"You're going to have to choose." Said Amber.

"I can't." I replied.

"Mare, you have to." Chelle said.

"But he's perfect but I can't… I don't know."

We talked for a few more hours before I had made my decision.

He respects my space and never makes me waitAnd he calls exactly when he says he willHe's close to my motherTalks business with my fatherHe's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable

The next afternoon, I walked into the coffee shop with Chelle and Amber by my side. Emmett sat at a few table away from the crowd. Chelle and Amber sat at the table nest to ours.

"Hey." I said, sitting down.

"Hey, I have something to ask you." Emmett said.

"Ok, then I have something I want to tell you.:

"You first."

"No you said something first."

"Ok, if you say so," Emmett reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "I've already asked your father and he agrees. Will you marry me?"

A few people turned around to look at us.

"Em… I don't know what to say." I confessed.

"Say yes."

I paused before answering.

"I can't." I said.

"What?!" He said.

""I can't it wouldn't be fair to you."

"But I love you." He said.

"I can't Emmett." I said, loudly.

The few people who were listening gasped and murmurs went around the crowd.

"I love someone else. It wouldn't be right to marry you." I said.

I slid the ring box back to him and left. I sat in my car crying my eyes out. I was thankful that my widows were tinted.

But I've been screamin' and fightin'And kissin' in the rainAnd it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your nameYou're so in love that you act insaneAnd that's the way I loved you

A few days later, I faked a smile as I walked into my parents house. As my mother and soon-to-be husband talked, my father pulled my aside.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I don't want to marry him" I confessed.

"Why?" My dad asked confused.

"I love him but I gave my heart away a long time ago and never really got it back."

I cried onto my father's shoulder.

Breakin' down and comin' undoneIt's a roller-coaster kinda rushAnd I never knew I could feel that muchAnd that's the way I loved you

A few months later I plastered on the same fake smile and lowered my veil. My father shook his head. Though he approved of the marriage, he knew that I would never be happy. The music started and he took her down the aisle.

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'And my heart's not breakin''Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all

I knew that I should be crying but I couldn't. I recited my vows, putting no feeling behind the words. Finally it came to the part where if anyone wanted to object that it was the time to do it. I looked at my father but he wouldn't do it.

"I can't do this." I said.

The whole church gasped.

"Many of you remember my high school years how I would never be around on the weekends or after school for that matter. I gave my heart away and I never really got it back. I love Emmett but I love someone else more." I said.

And you were wild and crazyJust so frustrating, intoxicating, complicatedGot away by some mistake and now

The next day the bride was found. She had committed suicide. With her they found a bloody picture and a note. The picture was a young girl and a sorrel horse. The girl was kissing the horse's nose, she looked happy. Emmett read the note aloud.

I'll be screamin' and fightin'And kissin' in the rainIt's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your nameI'm so in love that I acted insaneAnd that's the way I loved youBreakin' down and comin' undoneIt's a roller-coaster kinda rushAnd I never knew I could feel that muchAnd that's the way I loved youAnd that's the way I loved youI never knew I could feel that muchAnd that's the way I loved you, Dollar.

Emmett, I love you but I gave my heart away to this horse before I even met you. I love him more then life itself. I know that you won't understand but please live long and be happy.


End file.
